


Bundle of Joy, With Laundry

by mabariis



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Fatherhood, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Introspection, No Deeprealms, Self-Reflection, implied jokamu but it's not the main focus so I feel like I shouldn't put it in the ship tag, it gets a little sad in the middle but it's soft at the end I promise, it's rated T because I don't feel right putting cussing in the G tag, we let our characters grow and mature enough before having kids of their own like responsible adults
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23023750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mabariis/pseuds/mabariis
Summary: New father Jakob takes some time to think about his life, his child, and his path. Dwyer takes some naps.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	Bundle of Joy, With Laundry

Dwyer clung to Jakob's shirt, his tiny fists holding all the fabric they could within a vice-like grip. Yet in seeming spite of his determined cling, Dwyer himself was fast asleep. Not even the way his chubby little cheeks bounced and mashed against his father's chest as Jakob moved seemed to disturb his innocent snores.

Jakob was getting used to doing many things one-handed. He was grateful for the point in his youth when he decided that becoming ambidextrous was a necessity, as it came in handy whenever Dwyer's sustained weight became too much, and he had to pass the child between his arms with more ginger care than he showed most anything else. He'd thought of fastening some sort of sling to himself to prevent himself this slow juggling routine, but the risk of the fabric coming undone or the baby tumbling out anyway seemed too great by virtue of even existing at all.

Fatherhood. Jakob admitted it was not a role he had ever seriously pictured himself in.

Playing nanny to any child of his liege's, yes, perhaps. But when he felt a weighty guilt anytime he dreamed, even wistfully, his own feelings could ever be reciprocated, how could he even begin to form the thought of those children being his?

Even more so when he had little idea of what a good father should even be.

That was a realization that had nagged and gnawed at him as time went on, growing from an offhand thought to a pressing concern over several weeks back before the birth. A shining example of fatherhood was not something Jakob had in his life, at any point. Hell, not even a middling one. It would be no exaggeration to say that both his biological father and that damned veteran Gunter were absolute bastards, at the very least when it came to their treatment of a child. It had lead to much musing and worry, over fingers busy with knitting, because knowing what one _shouldn't_ do did not suddenly supply what one _should_.

And yet…..holding Dwyer as he was now, gathering the laundry and catching glances of Dwyer's mouth pushed open and his surprisingly thick unruly hair, he got the sense that...maybe he could figure it out. He still worried, of course, that he'd react too harshly. Push too hard. Expect too much. Fall back into the figure that loomed over him as he grew, that ghastly demon whose methods left him scarred beyond his skin.

Dwyer leaned back from Jakob's chest and yawned, failing to blink away the sleep from his bright red eyes. He lay himself back down. His hands didn't ease up once.

It was an amazing thing, time. Time and a step back after a long, stressful time of fighting for one's life. It had not even been much longer than two years since the war had ended, and yet Jakob felt himself in many ways so different. Better. Happier. Gone were times of self-doubt and overextension being a constant, of the fear of his potential replacement ruling his actions and pursuits, restricting him as it drove him. They were still there, at times, but they receded more and more as time moved on, like a tide retracting from the shore. Waters that had almost drowned him finally moving to lower tides.

What was it he had said? It can be refreshing, to cast off your old self. To change. To grow.

He felt...incredibly grateful, to have had the life he did. As hellacious and terrible as it was, it had brought him here. He could not say with any certainty that any other chain of events would lead him to the life he now lived, happy and healthier and, through a string of many miracles, a father. Lack of proper guidance had never stopped him from figuring out his way before. It felt an unspoken promise it would not stop him now. He paused his collecting of the linens to once again gaze upon his precious son.

Dwyer sneezed so hard his head bounced off Jakob in the process.

Either the kickback from his sneeze or the sensation itself seemed to have finally woken Dwyer from his slumber. Tears quickly formed in the corners of his eyes, his mouth opening wide to let loose a crescendoing wail. Jakob shifted to hold Dwyer with both arms, moving him to his shoulder and patting his back.

"Alright, I understand how frustrating it is to be woken from sleep so rudely, but we must hush. If you cry over every sneeze, you'll be out of tears by lunchtime."

At this Dwyer wailed louder, and Jakob tutted, rocking Dwyer back to look the babe in the eyes. "No child of mine will survive if they cannot recognize my humor," he chided lightly. The shift had caused Dwyer to stop crying, at least. Jakob took this moment to wipe the wetness from his cheeks and try, unsuccessfully, to smooth back his hair. 

"There, there." Jakob kept his voice low. He could hear his own smile. "Are you finished with your crying?" 

Dwyer blinked back at him before rubbing his eyes. He sat there, seeming to contemplate his next action, before ultimately setting his head back down on Jakob’s shoulder, ready to doze back off. Some part of Jakob couldn’t help but laugh.

“Well. I suppose you are my child after all,” he murmured. All thoughts of laundry lay temporarily abandoned as Jakob left the room, carefully supporting Dwyer’s back with the hand that did not hold him. “Let us get you back to bed for now, hmm? I would hate to disturb my little prince’s slumber further with my _trivial_ tasks.” 

Dwyer, somehow already sound asleep, remained oblivious to his father’s self-satisfying teases, only moving to rub his face against Jakob’s shoulder.

Yes, Jakob thought, his heart swelling with a tender pride. Fatherhood was another thing he’d have to master, however much effort it took. The child in his arms was all the motivation he needed.

**Author's Note:**

> I had intended this to be straight fluff when I concepted it months and months ago, and then I tapped into some part of my brain that wrote words to finish it, and in the process it became a lot heavier in the middle. But I hope the fluff and Jakob's outlook made that part okay. I really do like his takes on change in his support...it's good to grow! I hope that light still shines through.


End file.
